Monday, April 7, 2008

like poles or unlike poles?

“Is it better to marry someone who has similar personality like yours, than someone who’s different?”

I dredged up this question from our writing skill test, a part of our mock TOEFL exam. Minimum of 300 words in 3 paragraphs. I can say that this was a sort of easy to answer question because I am already married. But as I was starting to write the words down, it made me think of my husband and my relationship with him. Are we similar or opposite?

I can’t quite remember what I exactly wrote there because the exam was like a month ago. As you all know, I have a short term memory. Neither I can’t say that Gerard and I are alike nor I can’t say that we’re opposite. Maybe, there are just some things that we both love to do together and some things that we don’t, no matter how hard we try.

I am extrovert, loud, spender, eats anything that’s edible. very patient, disorganized, late, impulsive, careless, a techie and always on the go. While my husband is suplado somewhat mysterious-type, reserved, kuripot, sobrang maarte sa food, complainer, organized, always on time, a planner, vain, sporty and don't want to move much. But we both adore kids, we enjoy watching movies, singing karaoke, eating and sleeping. We are both home buddies and couch potatoes. We love tackling about current events. We love cars, restaurant hopping, Hollywood and both can’t live without the television.

It is better if at least you have some things that you enjoy doing together. Of course we all know that no one is exactly like the other but having a common ground is an advantage. Things that will help you bond together. Success in marriage is not about having similar or different personalities. For me, it’s being familiar with each other. Knowing what to do without the other telling you exactly what you have to do, you just know. It’s using non verbal communication. You converse without words, only gestures. It’s a glare at each other’s eyes and you just distinguish what he means by it. It is recognizing each other more every day. Learning something together after every feud you just had. It is appreciating of what you have at the moment. You can’t have it in just a snap, time makes marriage as solid as rock if it is well founded. It is being a part of each other, the half of the other half making a whole. It is sticking together through whatever. It’s tolerating each other in spite of the differences and loving behind the imperfections. Marriage is working out together, both of you doing your part in a team.

It is our 2nd anniversary tomorrow and I know our relationship is young and we have so much to face in the future. I just pray that we never get tired of each other no matter how far our differences can take us. 6 years and still counting, I am loving every single day that I am with him. We are not alike, yet not totally opposite. Ours is not perfect, but its the imperfection that makes every day worth living. I love you more and more babe, happy anniversary!

learning and laughing

Letting go of our kid is sometimes the only way for them to learn. Being so protective of them is quite normal especially for a first time mom like me. However, we can never always be around to keep an eye on them. So the best thing that we can teach them is to become skilled at in taking care of themselves.

I have 1 year old and 7 month boy who’s fond of running and doing things without precautions. Like any mommies do, I chase after my kid all the time fearing that he might trip over and hurt himself. There was this instance when I called Andy for his bath time, he got so excited and ran to the bath room with a slippery floor. He lost his balance and glided on the wet floor tiles. It happened so fast and I wasn’t ready for it. Fortunately, he didn’t bump himself to anything. I am a vigilant mom, overprotective is what they say, but there was something inside me that moment just wants to let go, see what will happen and see how he will react on it. Anyways, he was alright, no head bumps, no scars, no broken bones or anything and he didn’t even cry, nevertheless, he got scared. I knew he learned his lesson.

From then on, whenever it is time for shower, he gets inside the bathroom cautiously, takes his ant steps one by one, very slowly and makes sure that I am holding his hand. He’s very careful now, making me guiltless of that one "bad mommy moment."
It’s not easy being a parent but is sure fun and fulfulling! Every day I learn new things from my kid. My life wasn’t like the way it was before but my Andy surely most of the time leaves me learning and laughing all at the same time!